Sunday, January 01, 2006

To Eat or Not to Eat...

Chef’s log 3 February 2163.

The ritual cleansing of the galley is almost complete. The Imam has been through in his inspections with his Halal Tricorder. As he was just about to fix the halal sticker on the galley, he changed his mind because he noticed there is an entry named “Bacon and eggs” on the food synthesiser menu.

“Bacon is not halal,” he said. I explained that the food synthesiser recycle the pooh and waste of the starship. It breaks them down into molecules and rearranging it into synthesised protein, fibre and liquid. The bacon is not pork and the eggs are not actually eggs.

I also explained how synthol is made too, a synthesised form of alchohol that mimics the taste but not the alcoholic effects. Synthol is served because alcoholic beverages are not allowed on board.

“AUDHU BILLAHI MIN ASH SHAYTAN AR RAJIM. You say this thing makes alcohol too?!” he exclaimed. “Ok, I am not going to approve this ‘thing’ with the halal sticker,” he continued.

I spent another half hour trying to explain how the food synthesiser work and things that come out from the machine is not what they are supposed to be. I gave up at the end, trying to explain the science and concept behind the food synthesiser to this graduate from a religious school in Kabul...

I have to see the bigger picture in this case; the starship won’t be allowed to fly if the kitchen does not have a halal sticker on it. I compromised by removing the so-called “non-halal” items from the menu.

The Imam seems satisfied and approved my kitchen after the religious drama.

I rest my case. Chef out.


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